As I recounted the money I've stashed away for the trailer chassis today I tried to think of the last time that I wanted something I didn't have the money for and actually saved up for it in cash. It has been a long time. New computer I want is $1200 and I only have $500? No problem, put it on a credit card and pay the $500 to the card and "finance" the rest. I've done that for things the kids wanted or needed, things that had to be repaired in the house, vacations. I got it in my head that I wanted to build and pay for this thing outright and I'm not sure why. I could just call the guy tomorrow, order the chassis and pay it off when I sell the house. But something won't let me do that. Not with this. This is somehow different. Sacred.
I eventually thought of the last thing I saved up for. My little sister and I used to go down the road to a cool, old fashioned drug store. You know the kind that was owned by a family and not a corporation? They had an ice cream counter, a pharmacy, a jewelry case and some exquisite dolls. Now, I wasn't much of a doll girl. I didn't really play with them. But this beauty was so gorgeous I was mesmerized; she had porcelain skin with pale pink cheeks, brown hair all twisted up into a fancy up-do, a pouty little red mouth and a dress with a hoop skirt. She was about 16" or 18" tall and I fell in love with her. I think I was in junior high. I don't remember how much she cost but I recall putting her on lay away - that grand old practice that stores used to have. Each week I'd go down and make a little payment on her from my allowance until she was mine. It took months.
And so it will be with my wagon. I keep hearing a voice (sounds oddly like David Carradine's) in my head; "Patience, young grasshopper...."
Today I give up the following:
1. A rubber mat for a pet's dish to sit on. (Who needs it when they hand their dog a chunk of meat through the doggy door at mealtime?)
2. A little 4" cube with two drawers in it
3. A jar with a built in chopper blade thingy that goes up and down on a plunger
4. A small black resin frog
5. A glass cruet - odd size, only big enough to make enough salad dressing for one salad maybe