Back in the Saddle
This is totally off topic, nothing about letting go of extraneous stuff - check back tomorrow for a return to the normal blog format.
I'm officially coming out of limbo. (Dare I make the obvious rhyme? Kimbo's no longer in limbo?) I've been away from blogging as my daughter has been ill and was hospitalized for twenty six days in January. Then the wheels fell off in many other aspects of my life at the same time while the workload increased significantly at work. I have to admit that even though I am a woman who has always been capable and strong, resilient and confident, that recent events have shaken me up. My spirit has been considerably rumpled, faith in my own instincts shattered and my glass-half-full attitude in danger. A common joke I've made is that I have to concentrate really hard to keep my little dingy afloat but that I always manage to do it; lately the dingy seemed to be taking on water. Then a good friend who also doubles as a wise therapist told me that one thing she knows about me for sure is that I have a lot of people who love me and it may be time for me to admit to myself and others that I need some help. I thought that over and it reminded me of my mother, who was quite generous in many ways, saying it was important to allow people to help you when they offer. It took me years to understand the meaning of that fully but I did finally come to understand it. Even so, it has never been easy for me to ask for help. So I made a leap of faith and took a baby step forward by saying "yes" when a girlfriend offered to come help me for a weekend. So much got done and we laughed and it was joyous and it was healing and it didn't leave me feeling pathetic for having asked (much to my surprise). So I tried again and said "yes" to the next friends who offered to help. Instead of feeling weaker, I felt stronger. We shared a dinner and laughed (I'm getting that laughter is key here) and again I felt a bit stronger, a bit more able to face all the things on my plate. I miraculously got things done. Lunch with a friend reminded me of the value of nourishing myself well in times of stress, a sister's visit cleared all the blog items piling up in the house and got my place shining which provided me a profound kind of comfort, another friend listened to my idea for a website and helped get it up and running almost instantaneously (Goddesses for Jordan), a dear friend who is an artist stepped forward and made a generous offer of one of her art pieces (Jordan's Hope), etc. etc. etc.
Now, instead of a little leaky dingy being tossed in the waves I feel myself being buoyed along the sleek, smooth surface of the water in a fine hand-crafted boat with many oars in the water. It is a very nice feeling. I am filled with gratitude for the generous outpouring of love and support from people who are coming forward to help. In permaculture, we design to develop "functional connections" between elements in a system and this profound practice, like all of permaculture design, has once again been demonstrated to work in all aspects of life. So I gratefully accept the help and sing a song of hope with a new twinkle in my eye. In writing this it has occurred to me that this post is in fact not off topic. One of the ways to simplify life is to accept and understand that we are not independent but fiercely interdependent. While letting go of the 10 extra vases we've accumulated under the kitchen sink perhaps we would be wise to let go of independence altogether. We are all connected.
This, sent to the blog by the friend who came and spent a weekend with me filing in my office a while back, is worth repeating here. I am blessed to have a life filled with people who embody the spirit of this:
"I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there can be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again." ~William Penn
I promise to pay it forward. ♥
Here are today's five items:
1. A pair of kid's craft scissors
2. A stack of magazines (taking them with me to the dentist tomorrow for donation to the waiting room)
3. Basic Beadwork
4. A red clothes basket
5. An IGI t-shirt